<TITLE>19. Par 180-189</TITLE>L-180   I stood there and looked around. I said, "God, how can You stand it? What--what... How do You look at such as that? When, it makes me, a sinner saved by grace, think that, how can--can You look at it? Why, it looks like You'd burst the thing open. Will my little Rebekah and Sarah have to come up under that kind of an influence? Will my two little girls have to meet a--a popular, so known, world as it is today, where the people act like that? God, how can I ever... what can I do?"
Course, it's His grace. If they were ordained to Eternal Life, they'll come to it. If they wasn't, they won't. I don't know. That's up to God. I'll do my part.

L-181   I thought, "How can You stand it, God? Look like You're so holy that You just wipe that thing off the earth." I said, "Look at that poor grandmother setting there. Look at that young girl back there. And here's a woman standing here, probably twenty-five years old. And that police with his arms around her waist, playing a slot machine. And there is the law; the nation is gone. There is the motherhood gone. Here is the elder gone. And there is a young girl setting back there, and she is gone. Look at the boys, when they ought to be in church or somewhere."

L-182 I said, "O God, what can I do? And here I am in this city, crying with all my heart, and they ignore it and walk as if they were..." I thought, "Well, God?"

L-183 Well, then a thought come, "If I haven't called them, how can they come? All the Father has given Me will come. 'You have eyes but you can't see, ears and you can't hear.'"

L-184 I thought, "Well, if the President would come to town instead of the revival, everybody would come out. Oh, sure, that's worldly."

L-185 Then I got to thinking, "Well, God, how, why don't You just, well, come on, send Jesus and let's have it over with? Won't just--just go and have it all over with, and let it go?"

L-186   Then I begin to see something moving in front of me. It looked like a little whirl going around like this. I kept watching it. I saw a world turning around and around. I watched it, and where it was spraying something off. I looked, and it was a spray of red, crimson Blood, across, around the world; just like a whirl going around, like a comet, and it had a whirl around like this. And I looked at this whirl. And just above it, I saw Jesus in the vision. He was looking down. And I seen myself standing down here on the earth, doing the things that I should not do. And every time that I sinned, God would have killed me, "Cause, the day you eat of it, day you die." And God's holiness and justice requires, and you'd have to die. And then I looked there. I kept rubbing my eyes. I said, "I'm not... I never went to sleep. I'm... It's a vision. I'm sure this is a vision."

L-187   I kept watching, as I stood behind the door. And I seen my own sins come up. And every time they would start to hit the Throne, His Blood act like a bumper on a car. It caught it, and I'd see It shake, and the Blood would run down His face. And I seen Him raise His hands, and said, "Father, forgive him, he doesn't know what he's doing."

L-188 I seen myself do something else, it shook Him again, bump. It would have, God would have killed me right then, but His Blood was catching me. It was holding my sins. I thought, "O God, did I do that? Surely it wasn't me." But it was.

L-189 Then I went walking like this, like I was going through that room, and I walked up close to Him. I seen a book laying there, it had my name on it, and all kinds of black letters wrote across it. I said, "Lord, I'm sorry I did this. Did my sins cause You to do that? Did I spin Your Blood around the world? Did I--did I do this to You, Lord? I'm so sorry that I did it." And He reached out. I said, "Will You forgive me? I didn't mean to. I'll... You, by Your grace, I'll try to be a better boy if You'll just help me."


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